The Beginning

December 16^th 2011 is where I shall begin my story and is the day my ‘’Father’’ left. I wish more than anything I could get this day out of my head.. We had our suspicions of him doing things but we had no proof until this day. He was busted for his wrong doings and there was no turning back from them. I remember my mother screaming and crying and telling him over and over again if he just told the truth, still giving him a chance knowing what he has done that she would try to work it out and she wouldn’t leave him. You think he told the truth? No he didn’t. At this point I hear him saying evil and hateful things to my mom to point I felt like I had to step in. While speaking my mind and telling him to stop… he steps in balling his fist with a look on his face I will never forget.. He was going to punch me in the face and if my mother wouldn’t have come in between us he would have. He turned to walk out the door.. I grabbed his arm pulling ,crying ,screaming ,..and begging for him not to go.. he pulled away from me as hard as he could to point I thought my arm was broke. As I watched him get in the car I knew that would be the last day I would ever see him again. Please first off understand that my father was never a father there are a lot of things that have went on in my life which you kinda get the idea of in The Confessions of a Broken Heart which has lead to the way they are now. I thought this was the worst day of my life at the time but little did I know it was just the beginning. I had no one but my boyfriend , who I had been with for almost two years at the time. I thought he was going to be the only one to get me through all of this and the only one that was going to be there for me. Christmas came and only you can imagine or know how that felt to not have your father there. Only good thing about Christmas was my boyfriend was there to stay the night to try to keep me happy which even at that point nothing could. The next day my mother filed for divorce and changed all the locks in the house, he made it very clear he didn’t care about us and had no plan on coming back. I had to watch my mother make herself sick from crying on the day that was supposed to be there anniversary, December 18^th,they would have been together for 21 years that day.. Months of hell slowly went by.. with him still trying to do anything he could to make us upset…shocker.. 2012 We have no money, we had to put our house up for sell having no way to pay the bills. I have no idea how we even have money to even eat anymore…between paying for my school, our car, paying to help my grandmother while were living there, and paying a lawyer. April has come and my birthday is very close with me wishing I didn’t even have one anymore, trying to make the best of things, stuff just got more shitty by the second. My birthday has come.. oh wahoo..lets see where do I even begin with this day, For one thing I was happy cause my cousin who is really my sister to me was there but at the same time I was upset I hadn’t really talked to my boyfriend which I had now been with for two years and 2 months in a few weeks and was very upset at the idea of him not being there.  Well the day goes on I’m trying to make the best of it not think about my dad and then I get a message on facebook  from my boyfriend saying he was gone out of state and happy birthday and then he deleted his page so I was like what the hell. I get online do my thing find a way to turn his account back on just to find out that the person who I thought was the love of my life, my whole world, the person I did and gave everything to, and the only damn person I had left was cheating on me… At this point all I wanted to do is die and sadly if it wasn’t for my sister being there with me all day that I wouldn’t be talking to you right now cause I felt like I had no use to the world no one wanted me and I was just done!!So as I sit there crying over him with my dad texting me being smart to me at the same time my now ex calls me acting like everything was fine cause he didn’t know that I knew what he had done, not only did I know he was cheating on me but I knew everything cause I talked to the girl he was and is now so called in love with. While I’m trying to get him to tell me the truth as he still sat there and lied said I wouldn’t let him talk and hung up with me. Texting him pouring my heart out to him asking him how could he when even the clothes on his back came from me yeah people I was that kind of girlfriend , I took him meds when he was sick, got him jobs, gave him food when he had none, clothes on his back, shoes on his feet all for him just to do me like that. After those texts that was the last time we spoke and I was way more pissed than upset, I was honestly shocked that I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be. How could I be? I’m the one that did everything right and never did him wrong so why should I waste my time crying over someone who no longer deserves it. A few weeks went by with the court thing still going on, things are starting to get a little better. With my mom and my grandmother gone to court my best friend for a long time was coming to see me, which made me very happy even more so since I started to have feelings for him. He pulled in the drive way with my heart racing and me trying to play it off like its nothing of course lol that’s just how I do =p anyway he made me a very happy girl that day and I became his girlfriend. It is now May 15^th as I wright this. Sorry I know I’m way past late to getting to this and posting all this. We have now been together for 3 weeks and yesterday was amazing, I went to the mall with my boyfriend , but heres the funny part as I was coming out of the mall and getting into his car with him we were trying to figure out where we were going to go to eat. He leans in to kiss me and as soon as I looked up from us kissing there my ex in the car next to use staring and I could see the pain on his face for seeing me with him even after what he did to me. God forgive me if I’m wrong but it made me feel better cause at that moment he knew what he lost and at same moment I looked at my boyfriend and saw what I gained and I felt very happy for once through all of this I am happy and its all cause of you my boyfriend and later on that day I got sick and you took me home and stayed as long as you could just so you take care of me J. Sadly I will never forget my past and the people that were in it when I wish I could but we all do that and we all have to learn how to let go of everything and move on. There’s still drama with my dad but its getting closer to it being over!!! Thank God!! Well that is all I have to tell now people, Stick with me here people I have no internet so I will post when I can but I will never stop writing. I will make a email were you can ask me anything that you need help with and I will do my best to help in anyway. So keep your head up, stay strong ,and stay fly J Until next time <3     Daughter of one